Journal Of The Everyday...

Today I am having a hard time calming the crazy in my head I am breathing deep breaths and in an attempt to manage I did some house cleaning in the midst of my efforts my sister sent me a text today to encourage me…John 14: 26-28 “26  But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 28  “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.” That led me…

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Journal Of The Everyday...

Here I am after a hiatus and tonight my blog is my journal I haven’t been avoiding writing I just haven’t been making time for it. Part of it has been my ANXIETY I am not going to sugar coat it I am not going to try to pretend that I am ok today I am going to try as hard as I can to just say what I need to get off my chest.

As I sit here writing tears are in my eyes, and I am shaking, I feel like I could throw up any minute and my heart is threatening to betray me by stopping all together because it is so heavy that my chest hurts and all of these things are a 4th of what they were yesterday. Part of what is so frustrating about an anxiety/panic attack is that I cannot control it I have been trying for weeks to keep this…

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Journal Of The Everyday...

Traces of her everywhere yet I don’t see the beauty before me the mess is her distress…calling me begging to see how much she needs to be seen today I see her art her and I hand in hand never apart lying everywhere like love letters to my heart…when did this start how could I have pushed her aside damn my foolish pride…my tears are falling my Lord gave me a calling to train and protect to have a positive effect…this little life was but a loan how could I have let her groan the pain heavy on a crazy brain mom driven to distraction when all she was asking was but a fraction…of time to show her love that came from above…wake up and take notice she is a beautiful Lotus embrace the life that was sent to you and no longer will she have to stew…thank God he can renew…

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Food Stamps…

Food Stamps….