My heart is pounding nearly out of my chest I feel like I am gonna explode, I can’t breathe, thoughts are racing through my mind and I can’t think clearly. I want to scream, burst out of my skin and to run to a place of peaceful bliss and never come back. I feel so inadequate so broken and insecure. I don’t know how to act how to manage all that I face. I am in a constant state of varying stages of coming completely undone. Prayers are pouring out of me is He listening am I too far gone?? Tears are streaming down my face and I have no idea how to make them stop, or why I feel like this. Overwhelmed, out of control and shameful, painfully aware that I don’t have any of the answers I need. Anger is welling up in me for all that I can’t control in myself and all around me. When the deck is stacked against me I feel powerless to move forward. Leaps and bounds forward all gone in a second.




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