In the recent months alot has changed in my life. I became a full time student, moved out of my parents house (finally for all of us) and truly became a single mom. I lived with mom and dad all of Lily’s life and didn’t really know how much they helped until it wasn’t there. Confused With all that said I can’t seem to pull out of my funk I am doing well in school but, I still feel stupid, I am making it on my own, (barely) but still feel useless and worried that I am just not good enough or strong enough to do this. And Lily and I are taking things day to day and I am trying hard to be patient with the terrible twos but feel like all I do is make mistakes and screw up as a parent. Anyone who know me well knows that I battle with self defeating thoughts and issues of self worth. But, I am tired, tired of not being on top of my game and functioning at 25% of what I want to function at. So, I have decided that I need change, I have written a sort of mission statement for my life over the next couple years and laid out some things that I want to be better or that I think need some work on my part. So, I am embarking on scary territory for me. I am beginning to sift through the ugly, yucky crap that I pushed deep down in my soul that has helped contribute to my weight gain, depression and ultimately gotten me to where I am. Please Lord help me see your hand on my life and see the path you want me to take in all of this. I want to be used for the purposes you set forth in my life and I can’t do that as I am.

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