In my life I have faced many battles. I have won some and lost more. Lately I have been battleing my thoughts. Everything I do has guilt attached to it and I can’t get anything out of my mind. My thoughts seem sometimes to take over. Things like, you are not good, or strong, not thin so therefore unattractive, gross and unlovable, and that I am not smart enough. Are these the lies of Satan or is there some truth behind all I fear. I constantly wonder how my life came to be ruled by fear and guilt. I am frustrated and wish that I could figure all of it out right now. I just want to be the smart, responsible, and the fun loving person I wish I was. Again how did I get to this place? Yesterday was the anniversary of the tragic death of a dear friend and every year I reflect on what I learned from it and what I still need to learn. It really tore me apart and I felt helpless and hopeless. But, God brought me through and showed me that I have perseverance, and the will power to move forward. He showed me to appreciate all the ones I love and to LET them know I appreciate them. I am still learning from that heart wrenching time period also from all the others as well. And am honestly trying to be a better person. The person I want to be.

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